“The Radiant Warrior”
This Month Reading:
Chapter 6: Understanding Relationships
Chapter 7: Healing Relationships
Please read these two chapters and then consider the reflective questions posed. This will aid the understanding and assimilation of the concepts and wisdom, and bring insight.
Understanding Relationships
“We are looking for another person to fill the gap that we experience deep inside us”.
Do you feel an emptiness within, and a need, a hunger, to fill it? Consider the possible causes of this gap and why we are compelled to fill it.
We all bring our unhealed issues and emotional baggage into a relationship. Do you think this is true, or an unduly bleak outlook on romantic love? Examine your reply, and what it reveals of your views on relationships.
Please contemplate jealousy. What is it and what circumstances are required for it to exist and flourish?
“True love always sets people free, but true love cannot be found in romantic love.”
Can this be true?
Examine your own beliefs and desires around love with another person. Can it fulfill your needs? Do you need someone to “complete” you, and why?
What does “true love” mean to you?
“If the one you love so much leaves you, you may feel tremendous rage and even want to kill them”.
Please contemplate “Crimes of Passion”.
What type of crime does this encompass and who may be the targets?
What emotions have to be present to precipitate such a crime?
The nature of a romantic relationship reveals much about the lovers. Our close relationships reflect the state of our ego thought system, and that of our partner.
What does your relationship reveal about you? For example, are you a giver or a taker? A rescuer or a needy person? Do you lead or follow?
How long do you think romantic love can last? What brings about its demise?
“No-one can love unconditionally from their personality-self”.
Consider why this might be.
Look into your own relationships and examine any needs they fulfil – for example, companionship, security, status.
There is always an element of fear in a special relationship. Look at the more obscure and subtle aspects of this.
Can you see a pattern in the roles you adopt in a relationship? Do you see the roles your partners play, that attract you to them?
If we take the ego out of the love equation, what does it look like?
Do you notice any resistance within yourself to the definition of “special relationships”?
Why are special relationships painful?
Do you agree it is because we project all our fears into it, and suppress and repress other emotions?
“To love another person without needing them”.
Please imagine how this might feel, and how it may be achieved.
Healing Relationships
Only when you forgive, love and heal yourself are you able to love another. Why is this so? Imagine you hate and despise yourself. From this place, do you think you would be able to love someone?
“A Radiant Warrior’s primary goal is to learn how to be fulfilled within oneself, rather than seeking fulfilment through someone else”
How may this be achieved? (It is a process!)
“Sex has a strong psychological component and a lot of turbulent emotions attached to it”. Please reflect on your own sexual relationships. Consider the roles you are comfortable with, and the behaviours you are not so comfortable with, within that relationship. Equally, how do you like your partner to behave?
Can you identify some of the yin and yang characteristics of both of you?
“To heal all your fearful thoughts that are related to sex, you need to be really brave and honest and go deep into your fears”.
Fears may include: body image; performance anxiety; feeling “dirty”; losing respect.
What fears may apply to you?
“If you do separate from your partner, you can, of course, continue the process of healing and forgiveness in your own mind without having any further physical contact or communication with your ex.”
A relationship can most definitely be healed after it has ended.This is a most valuable exercise, and leads to soul-to-soul forgiveness.
A holy relationship is the “ultimate goal”. It is “from love, to love”. Beware of the ego’s attempts to high-jack this! it loves to feel special and superior, and will be more than happy to claim that it is transforming your relationship into a “holy” one.
Reflect on a romantic relationship you had, which has ended. Can you identify the unhealed issues that contributed to the break-up?
“The spiritual purpose of relationships”’ is to heal, to unfold, to learn, to love, and find joy and peace. Soul-to-soul love has eternal features. Reflect on the essence of this.
You are encouraged to keep a journal of your insights, training and progress for your own benefit.
Contemplating on these questions can aid your learning and help you master each step before moving on to the next. Feel free to email us your reflections, insights and questions.
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